Discombobulated

via dictionary.com 

This word essentially describes my first week of my LAST (sorry this requires ALL CAPS) semester of law school.

Law students who don’t  know me but witnessed me stumble around campus this past week would have thought it was my first week of law school and not the first week of my LAST (I can’t stress this point enough) semester.

It started on the first day (did I mention this is my LAST semester of law school?)  last Monday when I left work early so I could buy a specific book for one of my classes that wasn’t available until late the week before and instead of buying it at the bookstore on campus, I had to go to a classroom/office that is only open until five on weekdays (um hello, evening section . . . why is the book only available right before class and during hours that evening people work?!)

So I got the book and then received an email thirty minutes later that I had left my wallet in the office/classroom??!!  I never forget my wallet, and didn’t even realize it was missing . . . total fail on my part.

So I went back down to the office to retrieve my wallet and thanked the admin profusely for letting me know that [apparently] my head is up somewhere south . . .

Then I went to my first class . . . only to realize five minutes before that my first class was actually the second class I had that evening; I had mixed up my two classes!

On a side note (and most likely more on this later, I really think I’m going to hate my Immigration Law class) . . . but I digress . . . in any event, my “space cadet” mindset continued throughout the week.

To my credit, I’m still suffering through “negotiations” with the ex to see if we can avoid the trial in a few weeks.  But this is slowly becoming an effort in futility with the ex’s attorney accusing me of “stringing him and his client along” . . .

The four-letter words that entered my head upon receiving his letter would make a sailor blush . . . um . . . how am I the one stalling when his client [ex] said he would agree to certain terms over a month ago but over the past several weeks won’t give a straight answer?!

Additionally, my nephew decided to arrive this past week two months early (the little peanut is doing great, and should come home from the hospital in the next month), but this just added to the chaos . . .

By Thursday, as I headed into my last class of the week, I realized I had no idea what room I was in.  I had received an email the day before that the classroom location had changed but for some reason, I couldn’t find the email.  I recalled that it was on the second floor but that could be any number of rooms.  So I ended up stalking the classrooms three minutes before my class was to start.  I was peeking in door windows hoping to see people with the same assigned book as me . . .

“What the hell are you doing Jenny?!”

Yeah . . . I got busted by one of my good friends who was on break from another class.  I explained my dilemma to him and he rolled his eyes and laughed.  I can’t entirely fault this friend on his reaction.

Thank goodness I didn’t have class today because of the MLK holiday, I probably needed this day off to focus.

I’m just hoping that week two and the rest of the semester goes better . . .

New Year, New Me . . . blah blah blah

It’s 2012 . . . I spent New Year’s Eve in sweats playing a board game with my son.  Considering how this year went for me, this wasn’t a bad way to end 2011.

So normally I come up with lofty goals for the new year (win the lottery) and create these over ambitious resolutions (lose 30 pounds and look like Kate Winslet) . . . not this time.

2012 is just another year, another continuance of my life and while I typically vow to eat healthier (let’s ignore the fact that I ate my weight in leftover holiday party mix an hour ago), exercise more (to my credit I refused the elevator and walked up five flights of stairs earlier today at the local science museum), save money, spend less . . . spend more time on “me” . . . etc., etc.

The truth is most of my past resolutions are goals that are ongoing self-improvement . . . I constantly strive for them and while I sometimes fail . . . they’re the types of goals that don’t need a new year to suddenly be declared.  I’m mindful of them and continue to work towards them regardless of the new year holiday.

Realistically??  There’s only one goal I have this year . . .

This goal [surprisingly] does not involve my court battle with the ex, which honestly should probably be added to the constant goals since we’re going on two years of litigation . . . but I digress . . .

My one goal for 2012 is to pass the bar exam.

Of course, before I can even try for this goal I need to graduate from law school and fill out and meet the requirements of the monster application process (can’t wait to explain my two years of litigation with the ex on that one) but those are just details . . .

The truth is I’m really scared I’m not going to pass.  The pass rate in my state is high (as in 93-98% for the past few years) but that’s no guarantee that I’ll be successfull, I’ll be trying to study while working full-time, parenting my son full-time . . . and I’ll be honest, I lack in discipline when it comes to studying.

So that’s it . . . my only 2012 resolution . . .

Well there is one other resolution, in my “silly category”, that’s to drink better beer.  It looks weird when I type this just as weird as it sounds when I told a few people the other week but that’s the truth.  I don’t go out much and when I do I always order Miller Lite which has caused me much grief from friends and family.  I’m constantly reminded that I graduated from college years ago, have a professional job and am in a graduate program, so why do I still drink the swill?

So my secondary resolution is to try better beer when I go out, I even downloaded an app to help me . . . based on my Miller Lite palette the only recommendation this app is giving me is Michelob Ultra . . . I think I’ll need to rely on friends for recommendations on this one . . .

And to help me with my ongoing goals, I got this 2012 calendar . . .

Happy 2012!

I Feel Old and Other Not-So-Shocking News

My law school’s final exam period ended last Friday on December 23rd and I had a take home final due at 4:00 p.m. that day.  I turned it in with eight minutes to spare.

For the past couple of years fall finals have ended only a day or two before the holidays and while I finally figured out last year that holiday shopping needs to be done online because there is no way in hell I can shop for everyone on my list at actual stores with this schedule, I still found myself rushing Friday evening and Saturday morning.

Another drawback to the fall final schedule is that it allows for no recovery time from final exams before being thrown into hectic days of spending quality time with relatives.  I have so much cleaning and laundry to do right now I could cry.

I’m so “peopled out” right now.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and enjoyed the time spent with them these past few days especially getting to see my little nephew who turned two last month (watching him and my son horse around and play together was one of the major highlights) but I’m so exhausted I’m seriously tempted to go to bed after finishing this post (it’s only 7:30 right now).

Despite the fact that I went to bed early (for me) last night, I struggled to get out of bed for work this morning when my alarm went off.

My exhaustion is also most likely the result of starting my new job last week.  After almost five years of working in the same position, I completely forgot how confusing and frustrating it is to start in a new role . . . getting my work station set up, meeting new people, trying to figure out what the heck I’m supposed to be doing . . .  I feel like I’m not bringing any value right now because I’m still learning the ropes and that frustrates me to no end.

Also . . . my trial was continued (again) to mid February . . . I just found that out today.  My attorney thinks it’s a good idea because we’re still trying to finalize an agreement (and avoid the trial) and this gives us more time . . .

My problem with all of this?  No matter how cooperative my ex’s attorney seems to be, I know in my heart the ex won’t agree and I refuse to concede anymore than I already have in these negotiations.

My attorney is optimistic but I’ve dealt with my ex for over a decade so I disagree . . .

My attorney thinks this will save me money, but again if we go to trial (which I’m almost certain we will) this continuance will cost me even more money.

Uggghhhh . . .

Am I old if I go to bed at 8:00 p.m. tonight? 

zzzzzzzz……………………….

And the Waiting Continues . . .

Since my last post on the epic litigation with the ex, my atty and I finally got confirmation of a trial date . . . it only took about two months since the notice for continuance after the ex hired a lawyer in the eleventh hour following the [former] judge’s decision almost six months ago that we needed a four-hour trial because he hadn’t read the court file in our May hearing which the court scheduled following a judgment (based almost entirely on my ex’s improperly filed ex parte communication following our August ’10 hearing) which was dated over a year ago . . .

But who’s counting?

I am.

Since finally getting a trial date a few weeks ago, my atty reached out to the ex’s atty to negotiate an agreement on some of the issues prior to this trial and unlike the last atty my ex hired, this atty is polite, respectful, and responsive.

Which brings me to last week.  Following a call with the ex’s atty earlier in the week, my atty contacted me and we had a frank discussion on what I should do. 

Reaching a settlement made a lot of sense financially and to be quite frank, most of my retainer is gone and my atty hasn’t even filed anything (I drafted, filed, and served the contempt charges on my own).

I gave my atty my priorities and reiterated what I was willing to concede.  I agreed to the proposed concessions and both attys were to have a call late last week after my ex’s atty had spoken to him. 

While I won’t (for obvious reasons) give the details of these discussion, I will say that the follow-up call with my atty late last week was not encouraging.  And again, without going into details it sounds like my ex will be pro se again.

And here’s where the waiting game begins . . . again . . .

I will find out in the next forty-eight hours whether or not we have an agreement and/or whether or not my ex will be pro se . . .

If he is, most likely we’ll have another continuance . . .

Words cannot begin to describe how frustrated, discouraged, and upset I am about all of this.

Optimism v. Honesty

So I once again lapsed in posts . . .

The past several weeks have been hectic though, right after my last post I was in my BFFs wedding ceremony to his partner and then immediately following, things got a little crazy . . .

After months of waiting, I now have a date in the epic trial (it’s less than a month and more on this later) . . .

I also ended up taking a new position in a different department at work (this is my last week and more on this later) . . .

And . . .

Final exams have started . . .

Officially they began this week at my law school but I had an early final exam last week . . . in my tax law class . . . the class that I loved to hate this entire semester.  The prof was fantastic, energetic and hilarious, but it didn’t change the fact that the entire casebook and material was essentially a foreign language for me.  I struggled with the material this whole semester . . . and then came our final exam last week . . .

First of all it was entirely closed book, an issue I have not dealt with since my Contracts class first year. 

Good grief I was not ready for this at all, while I was able to wrap my head around a number of areas and memorize a few cases and regs, I gambled wrong.  The fact pattern and issues were the areas I didn’t focus on (oh please exam gods just give me a “C” on this one . . . )

One of my classmates summed the situation up best when she declared in the hallway after we walked out and said, “it’s unfair that on our first reading day we had to take a final, it’s not like anyone reads on these first days, but we use this time to prepare ourselves emotionally and mentally for the fact that we’re about to have final exams”!

So true, I usually clean the heck out of my home during this time, I often refer to this period as “finals feng shui”, or “productive procrastination”.

In any event I commiserated with a good friend who also was in the class at the local watering hole right after the final. 

It was always tradition for the gang to head over to this place right after a final with the silent agreement that we would not talk about the actual exam.  This usually amounted to about a dozen of us sitting in silence for an hour, taking comfort that we were not alone in the shock of the exam. 

Now it is only my good friend and I, the rest of the group graduated last spring and took and passed the barzam this past July . . . yet the two of us continue the routine of finals.

On this post final tax final exam trip however, the above mentioned classmate tagged along and she made a comment that rang true . . . in her rant about not being mentally prepared for finals and using reading days for it she added . . .

“It’s like grocery shopping during the semester, the first half you put all these various ingredients in your cart, you’re pumped you think, ‘heck yeah I’m going to make stir fry from scratch’ . . . that’s the ‘cart of optimism’ and then as the semester comes to an end, your cart fills up with frozen pizza and crackers . . . that’s the ‘cart of honesty’ . . . “

Damn straight, this girl summed up my entire law school experience with that statement!

My only regret is that I didn’t meet this like-minded law student two years ago, it’s refreshing to hear on the local level that I’m not alone in all of this . . .

Ugh, I just need to survive the next two weeks and then I can sleep, relax, and move on . . .

to my barzam app and my final semester . . .

none of which will be pretty . . .

Pausing to Breathe

I don’t know if it was that Mindfulness retreat I was on last weekend or something else, but I found myself craving a walk outdoors this afternoon.

Typically my weekends are devoted to laundry, house cleaning, grocery shopping, and other necessary errands.  My weekends get eaten up by all of these household chores, but I don’t have much choice currently since work and school eat up my weekdays.

I had to drop off items for a fundraiser a student org I’m an officer on is having this week at school.  I brought my son with me and after the school run, I took him to a quaint little Neapolitan pizza place that was in the neighborhood.  He loved the kitschy atmosphere and I was surprised that he liked the pizza margherita and didn’t complain about the lack of pepperoni or the large basil leaves on it.  “This is the best pizza I’ve ever had!”  I’m inclined to agree with him

When we got home, instead of diving into homework or laundry, I suggested we go for a walk in the neighborhood.  And instead of walking on the streets, we explored some of the trails.

It was a good choice . . .

Definitely plan to include more of these walks in my routine!

Awesome! (This Title May Contain Sarcasm)

This is week six since my attorney and I found out there would be a continuance of my trial because the ex hired a lawyer at the eleventh hour . . .

After leaving several messages with the court these past two weeks, my attorney tried again and finally got a call back.

“The court referee is coming in this afternoon to look at the court calendar, you won’t get in before the end of the year but you should get in early in the new year.”

@#$%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Six weeks ago the court told us, “you’ll definitely get in this year”.  My attorney sarcastically commented, “well we have time because we just need a decision before next summer right?”

At this rate, I’ll have graduated from law school before having this trial.

This Cost How Much in Tuition?!

As this is my second to last semester of law school and because last spring semester almost killed me, I decided to “slack” a bit with my schedule.  Specifically, one of my classes this semester is “Mindfulness and Legal Skills” which is a two credit pass/fail course exploring meditation and how it helps balance the stress of the legal profession while improving your negotiating skills . . .

This is where I eat crow because in a prior post, I talked about how I select classes because “I could care less if my future profs are tough graders and brutal in class.  I spend a lot of money each semester to learn the law and so long as my profs help me become an attorney through their teaching, it doesn’t matter to me that their final is a pee-your-pants-while-vomiting nightmare.”  I also indicated in that post that I wouldn’t take a class just because it was pass/fail . . . umm . . .

In my defense this is my FOURTH year of law school, because I work full-time I had to stretch out this “amazing” experience over the course of four years because of ABA requirements and quite frankly, I need a little “fluff” in my curriculum in order to make it to May 2012.

So I signed up for this Mindfulness class because several students who took it last year said it was awesome and I figured with all the stress in my life, I could benefit from some meditation.

The first several weeks of this class backfired on me, I was more crabby and agitated than normal (shocking).  In our first class session we spent twenty minutes “listening” to a raisin (as in former grape) . . . WTH?  When I told my coworkers about this experience, they all raised eyebrows and said, “do you know how much in tuition those 20 minutes of raisin conversation cost you?!”  . . . I calculated and that was one expensive conversation.

I struggled in the early weeks of the semester with my weekly journals and outside-class meditation sessions.  These sessions were akin to when I begin a workout regimen . . . I would spend up to an hour convincing myself to just sit and focus on my breathing and thoughts.  In class meditation sessions were similar, my thoughts tended to be ”I’m so hungry . . . I have some left-over pasta . . . there’s half a box of stale Triscuits in the pantry . . .” or I thought nothing and found myself dozing off (the class is 7:30-9:30 p.m.).

But I hit a couple of breakthroughs and epiphanies in recent weeks.  I’m learning that the reason I hate taking moments to sit with my thoughts is because most of my thoughts are negative, especially when it comes to me.  Goodness, my subconscious thoughts really put me down. 

And now that the intense portion of learning various meditation techniques are done, the class now focuses on how to use these various techniques when handling client relationships, working with opposing counsel, etc.  Essentially, everything is making more sense to me.

Yesterday, we (as in the whole class) had to spend all day in a meditation retreat, no talking for six hours as we went through various half hour meditation sessions, alternating between sitting, laying down, and walking (yes, you can practice mindfulness/meditation while walking). 

I was dreading this day because I don’t know when I haven’t spoken for six hours (I failed on that part, see below) and I wasn’t entirely sure I was ready to do all these intense meditation sessions since I’m still struggling with that portion.

But the day ended up being really good.  The retreat was held in a small building at a wooded park in an outlying suburb.  The place was gorgeous . . .

Just one of the many beautiful paths in the woods

 

And the day went by faster than I thought it would.  I admit, I broke the “no talking rule” but it wasn’t a big deal (according to the prof later).  Specifically, I have two friends in the class and during one of our morning walking meditations (after two hours of silent reflection), we met up on one of the wooded paths and all non-verbally communicated which direction we would head.  We then hid out of view of the building and whispered for a bit.  It was somewhat comical.  One of my friends pulled out three peanut butter cups from her coat pocket and while we munched on them (we were starving and our silent lunch wasn’t going to be for another two hours), she suddenly declared, “sh*t, I feel like I’m back in high school when I used to skip out of gym class and hide out behind the bleachers to sneak a smoke”. 

 

Despite my bending the rules, I got a lot out of this retreat.  I spent most of the indoor meditation time sorting out some stuff going on at work (it was a very rough past week) and exploring why I was feeling the way I do.  What I discovered was very enlightening and I began to figure how I want to proceed over this next year. 

 

I came home absolutely exhausted (I fell asleep at 9:00 p.m. last night trying to type this post), but I also came home feeling calm, refreshed, and more balanced than I have in a really long time.

 

So maybe this class wasn’t as “slacker” as I originally thought it would be when I registered for it . . .

 

The Post Law School Wish List

While I’m not counting down the exact number of days . . . yet . . . I can’t deny I’m getting more and more excited and anxious to graduate from law school in seven months (ok, I don’t have the exact number of days, but I know the range).

In any event, I’ve caught myself on numerous occasions daydreaming about what I’ll be doing nine months from now.  Specifically, all this “free time” I’ll have post barzam.

Besides sleeping more than four hours a night, exercise, reading for pleasure, and rekindling relationships with the handful of non law school friends I’ve stayed in semi-contact with, the big item on my free time list is . . . picking back up knitting and crocheting.

Thanks to Pinterest and a number of blogs I follow, I’ve been collecting a fantastic list of projects to knit and crochet.  The last knitting project I actually finished was almost three years ago and while I’ve started several scarfs and sweaters, I have yet to complete any of them.

While I’ve been somewhat cognizant of this inner yearning to pick back up the knitting needles, I didn’t realize how big of a desire I have until this evening.

On my way home from class tonight, I swung by a large franchise craft store to pick up hem tape (I continue to be plagued with pant hem issues).  I haven’t been to this store in over a year when I picked up a gift card for my mother.  I spent the remaining thirty minutes before the store closed wandering about the yarn aisle.  As I touched all the new colors and textures of yarn, all these different ideas began visualizing in my head.

So I picked up some skeins for my post law school knitting wishlist . . . I may have overdone it . . .

I should never be allowed to go through a yarn section of a craft store again . . .

As an FYI, the yarn was on sale and I had some pretty awesome coupons, but still . . .

 

With tonight’s purchase I now have enough yarn to create at least six projects . . . this is on top of all the other half-finished and to-do projects I already have on my list!

 

Oh well . . . I’m ok with the fact that I’m starting to think beyond law school and barzam . . . I’m starting to envision that I will soon have a life outside of law school academia after almost four years of no sleep, stress, and blurred vision from reading, writing, and discussions around essential elements of law.  Don’t get me wrong, in a heartbeat I would do this all over again but I am ready to reclaim my life . . .

 

So who needs a scarf?  I have a sneaking suspicion I’ll be making a number of them starting this summer

 

 

 

Follow Me Down the Rabbit Hole

Note: as part of my three-day “catch-up weekend”, I wanted to finish this post I started two months ago regarding my court situation . . . so here’s my [first ever] two posts in one day . . . but if you read on, you’ll understand that if I don’t post now, more changes will happen in my situation and this post will continue to get postponed and even longer than this one!

During my 2L year my Property Prof made a comment during a complex discussion around easements and covenants, “follow me down the rabbit hole here”.  That comment stuck with me for two reasons . . . first because it referenced one of my favorite novels of all time, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, but also it aptly describes my court situation with the ex.

I last discussed this situation in June and (again, apologies for the length of this post) here’s the summary of the last several months and the current status . . .as a result, I have some catching up to do so for those of you following my situation, for those who haven’t, again my apologies.  Regardless, I thank you all for following me down this baffling court situation . . . the “rabbit hole” if you will . . .

After my June post we did get a continuance because of the court conflict of my atty without having to file an actual continuance motion.  As soon as the court heard we were going to file a motion for continuance, they immediately said it was unnecessary and they would get my ex, atty and I on the phone with the judge and we would figure out a date that would work out for everyone.  What actually happened was my atty received a call from the court that my ex could accommodate a date this fall and that was the date.  We didn’t argue it, but we were both pretty peeved that there was no actual conference call to mutually agree on a date.

So the new trial date was for approximately three weeks ago and guess what?  We didn’t have it.

In September I filed Contempt of Court charges against my ex.  This was from a July incident during my ex’s extended parenting time.  My ex took our son outside of his residence for several days and not only didn’t let me know, he tried to have our son lie about the incident.  Specifically, he had our son call me the day they left to tell me he couldn’t find his personal cell phone charger and if I couldn’t get a hold of him for the rest of his dad’s extended parenting time, it was because his phone was dead.  I offered to pick up a phone charger and mail it to him and my son quickly said it wasn’t necessary because he just found his charger . . . hmmm . . .

Needless to say this conversation put me on high alert that something not good was about to happen.  Sure enough I found out later that night that my son was at a campground for the weekend.  The worst part was he tried to cover up for his dad, insisting he was at his dad’s and he didn’t have his phone with him because he was in the bathroom.  Immediately saying that, my son then whispered into the phone that he was actually at a campground and he wasn’t going to be home for several days and that he knew his dad lied but didn’t want to get him into trouble.

I reassured our son that it was no big deal.  The next day my son called to tell me his dad made him spend the afternoon with the kid that assaulted him [which in part, started this whole court situation].  So that was two blatant court violations, both of which the judge said my ex had to obey and the ex acknowledged during the aftermath of that hearing a couple of hours later that resulted in me calling 911.

I called the court to request a contempt hearing on this and was told, “we don’t have time for a contempt hearing, that’s not how we do things here, why don’t you just talk to [ex] about the issue”

So I sent the ex an email and the discussion wasn’t pleasant.  He emailed me that if he had money he would take me down for perjury, child abuse, and false accusations . . .

????

The ex also indicated he would not go to the Parenting Time Expeditor assigned to our case (the order to this still stands) . . . yet another violation of existing orders.  My atty advised me to file contempt charges at this point.

So I took a day off from work and drove down to the court with a friend from law school with a contempt order for the judge to sign . . . and surprisingly, the order was signed, the judge didn’t question it or anything.  My friend served my ex before we left town.  I have to admit, this day was extremely surreal . . . I had several small victories, the first in a long time on this matter and I felt somewhat encouraged . . . but then . . .

About two weeks later, my ex was sent (via my atty) the evidence and witness list we were going to present.  This included the recording I captured during the post hearing exchange where my ex lost his composure (to put it politely) and trapped our son in the back of his vehicle for approximately fifteen minutes and I had to call 911.  My ex had no idea I had taped that incident and was blown away by it which resulted in . . .

A week before our scheduled hearing, my ex hired an atty and they asked for a continuance.  My atty was to be on a conference call with all involved parties that same week . . .

My atty never got a call.  She followed up a couple of weeks ago with the court (two weeks after being notified of the continuance) asking why the conference call hadn’t been scheduled.  She was told that my case was now getting shipped to a court referee.  My atty was pretty excited over this news because 1) we won’t go before this judge and 2) typically in these situations everything is based on the facts and we may very well get a change of jurisdiction out of this . . .

But that was three weeks ago and no word regarding this alleged referee we were assigned.  My atty left two messages with the court last week requesting a status update with no call back.

So I’m left wondering again . . . is this ever going to end?