I’m working on my motion and affidavit and I have the worst writer’s block ever.
Despite how important this is, I cannot do it. I made the most ground tonight after repeated attempts for the past several evenings and yet I’m barely there.
I have to file this motion in the next two weeks.
My [former] atty emailed me last week wanting to know how my pleadings were going. I had barely started and my excuse at the time was valid. I had a final paper due last Monday and a client website project due last Thursday for my family law class. I turned in a fabulous hot mess on both of those days. I totally earned the low grade I’m sure to get and I’m so pissed.
The truth is, I still love family law and I still want to practice family law. Although I appreciated the format my professor designed for the class, it made me so frustrated. We had to go into discussion forums with assigned classmates and discuss topics pertaining to specific class discussion. My prof’s whole curriculum was designed to get us thinking about the emotional impact, the uncertainty and ethical issues of family law. Most of my classmates were fresh out of required 1L curriculum and everything was black and white to them and their approach was very clinical and naive . To their credit, I’d probably be the same way except that I have first-hand knowledge that family law isn’t black and white and no matter how much you regulate certain things through statute, it won’t help or even apply to many family situations. I was actually called an anarchist by a classmate in one discussion forum because I argued against his idea of regulating marriage where domestic abusers would be flagged in the system so their future spouses would be notified upon registration of a marriage certificate.
In any event, I think my eventual apathy towards my family law class boiled down to pure burn out and anxiousness. I already intimately knew all the statutes, policy and history of most of our family law cases and I was so chin-deep in it that I just wanted to apply what I learned. Unfortunately, our final projects required us to demonstrate we understood the basic principles. I would have preferred (oddly enough) a final exam with hypos.
The one shining light is that in the event of researching for my final paper I came up with an idea and outline for my long-paper. As soon as my final grade comes in, I’m setting up a meeting with my prof to discuss my idea. Hopefully, she’ll approve it and advise my on the project. I have two years left of school and to figure out my long-paper and knock it out by the end of this next academic year would be fantastic.
But back to this motion. It didn’t help that when my atty emailed me earlier this week I received an email from the ex shortly after.
The email was in response to a certified letter I sent him last week requesting mediation to figure out the summer parenting time. He said “absolutely not” to the mediation, that he would rather go to court at this point because he can’t afford mediation and that he’s going to reveal “everything about me” to the judge since he first met me a decade ago. He also implied that he was on a friendly basis with the judge and the judge already knew how manipulative and untruthful I was. Hmmmm . . . well needless to say, this email is going in all the evidence. I can’t say I am surprised by the content of the email, but it’s still stressful though.
I’ve thrown up three times just trying to write my motion. My entire living room is covered in all the documentation of the past year, with a pile in the corner of all the stuff from the past ten years. Mother Nature is somewhere crying because of the trees wasted in documenting everything in the past several months alone, not to mention the past decade. Every night for the past four days my living room looks like this and every night I have to put it all away so that my son doesn’t see it when he wakes up.
I hate this . . .
I’m hopeful that I’ll have this all finished up tomorrow night so that on Tuesday I can email it to my atty for review. It’s getting there but I’m so angry. My ex is going to read this and respond with all sorts of garbage that I’ll have to move it be thrown out because it isn’t credible, relevant or done correctly by court procedure. This takes the entire focus away from his alarming behavior which is the whole point of the hearing.
My other point of frustration is that in all my research for my motion turned up nothing that would allow me to simply file a motion “for defendant to go F himself” or “defendant be declared a douchebag/asshole/jerk”. This would have made my motion writing go a lot easier . . .
So sorry with everything you’re going through. This, will, make you a better family law attorney someday.
You just keep working hard at it … his snide comments won’t win him anything in court. Especially if you can get that biased comment about the judge, you’ll be set! Focus on that and on writing a solid motion. Those are your best paths for now.
Are you sure writing this yourself is worth the money you’ll save? It’s very hard to go pro se in these matters; emotional detachment is impossible. Not sure it’s worth the turmoil.
There will be a point the judge is going to get fed up with him. Hopefully that’s soon!
Man I’d love a motion for the defendant to go F himself. That’d be riotous.
I hope I can cheer you up because I’m knee deep in months of research as one allegation would would morph from one to another. I’m not in law school but could be. The court system and all attached is too messed up for my temperment. Every time I start writing the motion it takes on my emotion and drags into whatever.
So here’s my question to you, can you possibly recommend a format I could use?
One or two direct paragraphs per topic or simply bullets?
Feel free to contact me, maybe I can help unblock your block.
Lynn
Well said Gail. I would never do things differently . . . especially due to finances and one of my paralegal friends (of a family law firm) said I got off cheap.
I’m inclined to agree. But it still sucks to be broke when you’re doing the right thing.
Good for you, you’re staying strong for your boys and doing the right thing by fighting for them.
Lynn, I’m not sure what jurisdiction you’re in but are there any good self-help centers through the court system there? I literally pulled off the forms and former docs that went back and forth between my [former] atty and my ex’s [former] atty, although with the latter, I only looked for format (her motions and assistance with my ex’s affidavit was a hot mess). The self help stuff in my jurisdiction showed the proper format.
My final motion was number/lettered bulleted. My affidavit had headers. It seems like the rule of thumb is the more concise and organized you can make it, the easier it is to read for the judge.
Proto Attorney, I asked myself the exact same question several times over the last couple of weeks but then I just drained my savings late last week with a car tune-up that amounted to $1600 . . . so yeah I guess the stress is worth it . . . maybe
Scanned your story. Not to minimize – its painful to relive the crap. Spent $220,000.00 to attempt some justice. Anyone out there realize how screwed the system is? And hey – are you fighting for your kids and putting your lawyers children through college? Good luck on the judge you pull – cause you are at their mercy. I am highly educated – University, College Degrees – most recent as a Paralegal so I can attempt to represent myself. My ex was abusive – an Executive with a major Canadian Bank and I – stayed at home to raise my children – one with special needs. I left him and hence the fees. Surely ther is someone out there who is willing to advocate for the truth? By the way – I have my boys – we are poor – and still in litigation – but being a Mother is the best thing I ever did.