Complete Shock

First off, thank you everyone for your support over these past days.  I kept all your kind words in mind during this whole ordeal.

I have no clue how to begin . . . my hearing was this morning, but the twelve hours proceeding and the actual event was totally bizarre and frustrating.   Sorry that this is a long post, but you’ll see why if you continue reading . . .

As a law student, I constantly hear that your first case is usually your hardest.  I realized a few weeks ago that it was somewhat odd that my “first case” was my own but I figured the experience will benefit me in the future when I actually practice.  While I don’t know if today counts as “the hardest”, it will most likely be one of the strangest.

Because my hearing was this morning and it’s almost two hours away, I made the decision last week to go down last night and stay in a motel.  One of my closest friends drove me down and stayed with me.  We got into town in the early evening, checked into the motel and went out for dinner.  I took my friend to the downtown area which is mainly local business and we went to a favorite spot of mine when I lived there. 

It was actually a lot of fun, I told my friend all these stories from undergrad and growing up in the area.  I pointed out areas from stories she has already heard, told her about the history, etc.  It dawned on me that this was the first time in years that I have come back to town and actually enjoyed myself.  I moved away under bad circumstances, with a lot of bad memories, but last night I was talking about all the good ones (which outnumber the bad ones) and some of the dark clouds began to blow away.

We returned to the motel around 9:00 p.m. and then all hell broke loose.

My cell began ringing and it was in my purse, I ran to grab it thinking it was one of our mutual friends who had said she would call.  I got my phone out and saw the contact photo, a donkey . . . oh sh*t.  I turned white and my friend said, “WHAT?” 

“It’s HIM, what do I do?!”

After a brief moment I decided to answer (I actually thought maybe he was calling to work out things before the hearing).  Unfortunately, I missed the call, it was going into voicemail when I hit answer.

The voicemail was, “Hey, I think we have a hearing tomorrow, I’m not sure, but I’m calling to tell you I will not be there so you don’t need to drive down.  I hurt myself playing sports and may have torn a muscle in my leg.  So I will call the court tomorrow to ask them to reschedule.  I hope to get it down as quickly as possible because I want to see my son.  Anyways, it’s up to you if you want to show up because I will not be there.”

WTF?????!!!!!!!

My friend and I immediately went into mode.  I started calling friends with knowledge of courtroom procedure, my friend fired up the computer and got online to begin researching our state’s court procedures.  After thirty minutes we had our answer.  A party cannot ask for continuance on short notice without good cause (hospitalization, etc.) and the opposing party must consent.  One of my friends said, “you will answer no to the consent (well duh) and you and [friend] need to hustle your butts to the courthouse when they open at eight tomorrow to be ready for the call to come in, also keep prepping as if the hearing will happen tomorrow.”

That’s exactly what my friend and I did.  She grilled me until two in the morning.  I woke up at five this morning and we hustled.  We got to the courthouse right after they opened and to my joy, one of the women working in court admin was someone I had worked with when I volunteered as an election judge for many years when I lived there.  We caught up and I told her why I was there.  She started calling around.  Her office did not handle family law cases.  It turned out the court administrator for the Judge that was hearing our case was out and the county attorney’s office was acting as back up.  That contact was in the middle of a scheduling conference so I went to wait in the lobby until she heard anything.

My friend and I had been sitting for only a few minutes when one of the bailiffs walked out and asked if I could come into the courtroom because the judge needed to talk to me and he was in between cases.  This was at 9:00 a.m.

I walked in and was told to sit down at the Plaintiff table in front of the microphone.  I did and he said his office had received a message from the ex about not coming in and wanted to figure something out.

Before I could stop myself, I said, “Yes your Honor, Defendant left a voicemail message for me at 9:00 last night, apparently he pulled a muscle or something.”

To my credit I said this in a neutral tone but the judicial clerk actually laughed when I said that.  Oops.

Judge, “well you’ve driven a considerable distance to be here, let’s get Defendant on the phone and try to figure out something.”

They got the ex on the phone and the next 9 minutes (yes, my 30 minute scheduled hearing was now a 10 minute discussion), were among the most frustrating of my life.

We actually had the hearing right then and there.  Thank goodness I had several friends review my final submissions and grill me on everything.

Judge asked why we were here.  My friends prepped me on this, we all knew this would be the first question.  My response was very neutral, the strategy was not to play the blame game.  I simply said a number of issues have come up since the Feb. hearing where Defendant had violated the Order at the bench and Judgment in April.  In order to successfully co-parent our son we needed clarification on the Judgment so that we had a highly structured parenting time plan so that these issues do not continue to arise. 

Then the Judge started going through my motion, it appeared that he had not gone through it before but we were discussing it earlier than the scheduled hearing.  He then started asking the ex questions and the ex just went off.  His voice filled the courtroom via speakers.  He kept saying that I was a liar and manipulative . . . the insults went on.  I kept objecting on relevancy and the Judge stopped him a few times. 

Then the worst happened.  The Judge asked the ex if he had received and read my motion.  Ex, “I got a package from her yes, but I chose not to read it.  I refuse to open any emails from her, answer any calls from her, open any letters from her . . . I will talk to you and this Court but I will never speak to her again.”

The Judge pointed out that the ex should obey court procedure but he would allow the ex to submit a response to my motion by September 1.

Me:  “Objection, Defendant was properly served and had ample time to respond to this motion”

The Judge looked me straight in the eyes and said, “I’m allowing him an opportunity to respond because it will help me decide this case based on paper and I need his response.”

I had an out-of-body experience at this point, I said, “I still object . . . [awkward pause as I scrambled for the state rule I couldn't come up with] this is against Court procedure.”

Crap, I felt like Elle Woods, but that was the best I could do and thank goodness for my Evidence professor.  He repeatedly said you object and if you can state why, but at the very least you need to get the objection in at the timely manner so that you have it on the record for appeal.  That’s what I did.  Now I can appeal if necessary.

I did follow up with the question of whether the ex would have to follow the response procedure and the Judge lectured the ex that he would need to file such a response per court procedure with a server affidavit, copy me, etc.  And he made it clear that the ex would only be able to address my motion, no new issues, etc.  My ex responded that he didn’t know if he would send a reply because he’s already sent so much paperwork and it hasn’t done him any good.  “Maybe you’ll hear from me, maybe you won’t.”

Then the ex really went to town.  He went off on how recently some guy jumped off a fifth story building and committed suicide because he couldn’t see his kids and how the Judge in our case and the court system allows people like me to get away with denying parenting time and how he has done nothing wrong.

And then the absolute worst.  The ex said, “you know what, I don’t need to see [son] anymore, go ahead and let me have two weeks in the summer, every other weekend in the summer, and alternating holidays during the summer and that’s it.  I don’t need to see him any other time.”

I admit, my jaw dropped.  I couldn’t keep my face neutral at this point despite all the efforts.

I am still utterly shocked.  During the 9 minutes, I barely spoke, my ex just went off most of the time.  It concluded with if I had anything to add.  This was asked right after the ex hung up so I stuck to it and said, “No your honor, everything is in my motion, affidavit and attached exhibits.”

I walked out and my friend knew something bad had happened.  I told her it was over and we needed to leave now.  She asked why and I said, “I just had the hearing, let’s go”. 

My friends were shocked.  Truthfully, I feel like this was never an actual hearing. 

I got home and collapsed in bed still wearing my dress clothes and slept for three hours. 

So I have no idea how to interpret this but I made myself a promise.  I would give myself this day to agonize, discuss and freak out about everything and that’s all.  I have no control of the situation.  Tomorrow morning when I wake up, I will focus on everything else, my son, work, school (I start on Thursday and haven’t even started reading).  I will no longer dwell on this for now.  I did everything I could.

And I take comfort that I have grounds for an appeal if necessary but I really hope it won’t come to this.  I’m also comforted by the fact that I spent so much time pulling together such a thorough affidavit with exhibits because that’s what the decision will be based on.

Fingers crossed . . .

Advertisement