Part of me feels like I need to apologize for my complete and total rant on Saturday. As I’m sure you can imagine, I was in a really bad place. And for that very reason, I won’t apologize.
I will thank everyone for their kind words and support over the past few days. It really meant a lot to me.
I’m not going to lie, the judgment just about destroyed me. I spent most of Saturday night alternating between crying jags and silent screaming (didn’t want to wake up my son).
When Sunday morning arrived, I was completely exhausted. I could barely get out of bed. My head pounded from the emotions the night before. My eyes were swollen and red from crying. My voice hoarse from the silent screams.
But I had to get up. I needed to appear as normal as possible for my son. I had responsibilities that couldn’t be ignored. And (unfortunate timing) I had my oral argument on my appellate brief to do in the afternoon.
I handled most of the morning ok, then threw on a wrinkled suit, pulled my hair back in a ponytail and slunked over to the school.
I got through the oral argument (it wasn’t pretty) and returned home. I spent a quiet night playing chess and watching Harry Potter with my son.
Yesterday, I finally began to come around. I started taking action to figure out how to deal with the judgment. Calls to court administration, requests to the court reporter for the transcript. I have a meeting with my former attorney next week to discuss options. I have until the 20th to file a motion for review.
First I have to deal with finals.
I also have to deal with the ex who has already made it clear in an email this afternoon that if I don’t drive down to the location he requested and got in the judgment (a location over 60 miles away) and meet him by 5:30 on Friday with our son, he will file contempt charges. I have a final exam on Friday at 6:00 p.m., I cannot physically be there. He refuses to cooperate just for this weekend.
Not sure what to do about this yet.
The judge knew in all of the evidence why this request by the ex wouldn’t work, but he still chose to rule for the ex.
I’m still disheartened over the unfairness of the judgment, but maybe I was harsh about the fact that justice is an illusion. I know there’s a lot of good guys that most likely win.
I still have (another) huge battle ahead. I hope I can regain my spirit.
My philosophy and advice I have given others is “it’s not the act itself, but how you react to it”.
The past few days I have reacted poorly. I avoided people, and felt sorry for myself. I can’t deny that I still feel nothing short of awful about this whole thing, but I need to move on. One day at a time for now, no matter how hard it feels, I am getting past this.
I’d probably still be sobbing and silent screaming.
It says a lot that you’re past that phase and getting practical.
Thank you, I’m still sobbing and screaming, but not as much
Although I’m dreading the 23, when my son leaves for the entire holiday season, under this new judgment, I don’t see him again until Jan. 2 
one second at a time is all I can commit to now, so I applaud you. Coming from experience, do what the judge orders you, like dr.’s orders, or it will bit you in the rear. Talk to your Professor the relevant ones who like you are experiecing life in its finer form(remember to put a positive spin on everything, even if it annoys you). I hope that you can find comfort in whatever makes you happy canceling everything that negates it. Good luck to us all.
Thank you, hindsight, I probably could have gotten an extension from the prof regarding the final and I probably should have pursued that. In the end, my mom and aunt helped me out by driving my son down to the pick-up spot. It did nothing to calm my nerves though. A learning lesson I guess . . . thank you for the kind words, I am feeling a little better!
I ditto Future, Esq.’s advice to see if you can reschedule the time for your final. Talk to the Dean of Student Affairs at your school if need be. These are extenuating circumstances and hopefully your school will find a way to accomodate you.
If at all possible (I know that finances are an issue), consider re-engaging the prior attorney (or some other attorney who has experience with this particular judge and knows his quirks/biases) to oversee the next steps.
Once you are taking action again, I think you’ll start to feel better. Action is empowering.
Knowledge and action really do help. I’m far from an organized person (at least compared to my friends whom I envy for their organization skills) but I do feel better with a plan, which I’m slowly shaping out. I’m hoping my meeting this week with the former attorney will help. If she thinks there’s a case and I should be represented again, I will try to scrounge money up to do that. But regardless of the outcome of the meeting, I know I’ll have good options suggested!
I’m so sorry
I hope things have improved, and you can always create a “second birthday” for your son. I know it’s not the same, but it would be fun for him to have a second birthday every year, just you and him, and you guys can do something really special on that day 